I'm scared of heights. Absolutely petrified. Just looking at a picture of something 'high' gives me sweaty palms and palpitations! I haven’t always been like that – once-upon-a-time I was the loon dangling off the outside of the bridge spanning Howstean Gorge tormenting my boyfriend at the time who was terrified I was going to kill myself (sorry by the way).
Howstean Gorge
When I became a mother 5 years ago, life just seemed more precious. My son was born with a rare heart defect and had to undergo major heart surgery. Having to face the harsh reality that I might only have a few days with the gorgeous little bundle I carried for 9 months really opened my eyes to just how fragile life is.
My post-op baby
My gorgeous bundle!
This resulted in the emergence of a few fears – going too fast in the car (especially if someone else was driving!), heights, the dark, and being home alone. Some were short-lived – I love star gazing, seize any opportunity to blast out the cobwebs on a motorbike and cherish my alone time. The fear of heights has lingered though.
Yesterday I took a massive step towards conquering my fear. I attended my first beginners climbing class! I wore my Muse concert t-shirt because it conjures happy thoughts from their concert in Springfiled, which I thought I might need several metres up a wall! Our group of 5 beginners began by learning how to tie a figure of 8 knot, attach ourselves to the rope properly, set up the belay and manoeuvre our hands to belay effectively without our partners plummeting to their untimely demise...
Then we climbed!!! My feet felt like lead, my body was fighting against my mind refusing to move my feet onto the first foothold and I felt like a potato – a lump incapable of movement! Then a 10 year old kid flew up the wall next to me and my pride hit me over the head like a breeze block! Can’t be having a munchkin outdo me!!! I focussed on UP and in no time at all was at the top!!! Yey me! I looked down, saw a few faces looking up at me, felt a bit wobbly and tried to face the inevitable getting down bit...
Releasing the death grip and taking your hands off the hand holds that are keeping you stuck to the wall is the most unnatural thing in the world. I had to prize my fingers off the pink and yellow knobbles, place them around the rope that dangled me precariously above my team mates’ heads, stretch my legs out and walk down the wall as my partner lowered me down. The squashy floor was a sweet relief to my feet! The buzz was amazing – I was physically shaking and my palms drenched with sweat, but I was so pleased with myself!
No comments:
Post a Comment